The transfer is valued at more than $20M per year, but our sources claim the basis of the complex transaction is an exchange of the player rights for two MLS franchises, bringing Manchester United to St. Louis and San Antonio. Stipulations include the prohibition of any resale of the player to Real Madrid.
MLS would only officially state that they could neither confirm nor deny the contract at this time, but that if Cristiano Ronaldo were to join the league in June mid way through the current MLS season, after the end of the current English Premier League schedule, he would be “added to the official roster upon receipt of his ITC. Per league and team policy, terms of the deal, if any, cannot be disclosed.”
This morning Don Garber responded to questions with a grin like the cat that ate the canary, saying only, “No comment.”
Surely the soccer world will shocked by this brilliant move on the part of the MLS. Finally the world will be jealous of US soccer.
Some US soccer fans are wary there will be repercussions. Early fears include the cancellation of Fox’s right to broadcast EPL and La Liga games, or even the curtail of olive oil and spaghetti shipments.
The Guardian reports sources who claim the root of the move was Manchester United’s shocking 4-1 loss to Liverpool and a loss of confidence that Man Utd can claim any further trophies in the future against a Liverpool side rumored to have Torres and Eto’o up front next year.
Cristiano Ronaldo, known as CR7 to many of his fans, follows in the footsteps of George Best and David Beckham as one of the world’s very best footballers who has come to play in the US. It is understood that Ronaldo will be joining DC United.
- “I am very happy … and especially proud to be the first Portuguese player to join United.”
- “I would be very proud if, one day, I’m held in the same esteem as George Best or Beckham. It’s what I’m working hard towards.”
It is understood that, though enormously talented, George Best was renowned in the US for his drinking, while David Beckham is known best for the billboards of him in his underwear. Cristiano may have already reached the same level of esteem.
All MLS games in which CR7 features are to be played on grass, artifical turf will be banned from those matches due to its lesser ability to absorb the impact of a diving player.
None of this is to be taken seriously of course, so please Cristiano do not sue me like you sued The Sun. Joga Bonito! and April Fools, my friends
I think adding the label of APRIL FOOLS gave it away :p